Residents of Tunny [Tunstall] are calling for ghosts to be banned from its town centre after claiming inconsiderate spirits keep bothering pedestrians! Regulations are planned which will see ghosts banned between the hours of 9am and 7pm from Monday to Saturday.
Chairman of the Tunny Civic Society, Ron Atkinson, has contacted both Staffordshire Police and Stoke City Council about the issue. "This has been a problem for a long time," said Ron. "They reckon that one person was so badly hurt that they ended up with Down Syndrome. Ghosts go tearing around with no consideration for the pedestrians and nothing is being done about it."
Chairman of the Tunny Civic Society, Ron Atkinson, has contacted both Staffordshire Police and Stoke City Council about the issue. "This has been a problem for a long time," said Ron. "They reckon that one person was so badly hurt that they ended up with Down Syndrome. Ghosts go tearing around with no consideration for the pedestrians and nothing is being done about it."
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President of the Tunny Chamber of Commerce, Doug Morris, was recently bitch-slapped by a ghost while kerb-crawling in the town. The 85-year-old said: "Unfortunately, a ghost made me crash my pussy wagon into a Mothercare store. I didn't think ghosts were allowed in the town centre at all, but that doesn't appear to be stopping the floaty bastards. And have you never noticed how you never see a black or Asian ghost?"
Barry Shanks, a spokesman from Staffordshire Police, said: "It is an offence to be a ghost or dress as one in the town centre. Our police officers have been told to beat anything resembling a ghost with hammers."
Barry Shanks, a spokesman from Staffordshire Police, said: "It is an offence to be a ghost or dress as one in the town centre. Our police officers have been told to beat anything resembling a ghost with hammers."
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