Man Gets Driving Ban For Protecting Children From Monsters

A Stokie has been punished after he was caught travelling with four children in the boot of his car. He said he did it to keep them safe from any potential monsters, including the Fegg Hayes Yeti.

Staffordshire Police found a total of 11 people in Barry Chomp's Vauxhall Nova when they stopped him in Fegg Hayes last year. One passenger was in the driver's seat, three adults and two children were squeezed into the back, and officers discovered four more children in the boot.

A recent picture of the Fegg Hayes Yeti

Chomp was convicted of endangering his passengers and of driving without licence or insurance earlier this week at Fenton Magistrates Court. He also was fined £5.50 and banned from driving illegally.

Chomp plans to appeal the decision.

Fegg Hayes Yeti Is Gay, Claims Boy

Stoke's scientific community has been thrown into a tizz after an 11 year old boy claimed that the Fegg Hayes Yeti is gay!

The boy made the claim during a history lesson yesterday at the Phil Taylor Institute of Technology (formerly known as: Cheg's High School) in Burslem. Teacher Ted Stott was astonished by the claim. "I was astonished by the claim," he says. "The little bastard just got up in class and said, 'The Fegg Hayes Yeti is totes gay.' He then marched out of the classroom, lighting a cigarette on a bunsen burner as he went. I assume he went home to prepare the evidence of his discovery for presentation to the world's scientific community."

"We are waiting to see what evidence the boy has got to enable him to make this claim," said local Yeti expert Fenk Hitler. "He must have some real concrete evidence to have been so bold."

"I couldn't concentrate for the rest of the day," added Mr Stott. "This could be the greatest discovery in the history of evolution, and it happened here in Boslem."

Fegg Hayes Yeti 600,000 Years Old, Says Staffordshire University Study

The Fegg Hayes Yeti is a much older species than previously thought and probably emerged as Stoke's top land predator about 600,000 years ago, a study at Staffordshire University has found. The news has come as a surprise to the residents of Fegg Hayes, whose elders have previously sung folk ballads of the Yeti being only 150,000 years old.

The students and professors estimate that the last common ancestor of gorillas and Yeti lived between 338,000 and 934,000 years ago. The most likely date, however, was about 600,000 years ago, said Phil Helpline of the Accounting and Business Studies department of Staffordshire University, a real numbers man who probably knows his stuff.

In recent years there have been several reports of sexual encounters between Yetis and gorillas resulting in fertile offspring. Mr Helpline said this could be explained by something similar happening about 150,000 years ago, when female gorillas mated with male Yetis resulting in fertile female offspring that "back-crossed" with pure-bred male gorillas, carrying their DNA with them.

"Yetis and gorillas hybridised about 150,000 years ago and then backcrossed into the main gorilla population. We tried to mate a Yeti with a gorilla in a room in the Cadman Centre, but it didn't take. I think the fact we were all standing around with cameras, cigars and beers may have put them off," Mr Helpline said.

Stoke's Yeti Population Declines Due To Global Warming

There is rising concern among boffins that the big recent summertime retreats of snow and ice in the Fegg Hayes area of Stoke are already harming Yeti populations. That was one conclusion of the Paul Brown Yeti Group, a network of Yeti experts and academics who held a conference in Fegg Hayes last week to review the latest data on the population of Yetis in and around the mountain ranges of the Fegg Hayes area in northern Stoke.

The group, part of the International Union for Yeti Conservation, includes biologists, politicians, non-profit conservation organisations and celebrities such as local stars Jonathan Wilkes and Anthea Turner. At its last meeting, in 2005, the group concluded that the Yeti population was in decline.

The meeting was not without controversy. Mick Taylor, a Derbyshire expert who had attended the conferences for many years, told some reporters that he was banned for attending this year because he says that "global warming doesn't exist and, as such, cannot possibly have any affect on the Yeti population". But Paul Brown, the lifetime honorary chairman of the Paul Brown Yeti Group, gave an alternative reason for banning Taylor: "He's an idiot and he smells bad, really stinks up the meetings. And we're sick of his yokel Derby accent."

The Fegg Hayes-based group is pressing world governments for cuts in greenhouse-gas emissions and better efforts to control all forms of animal hunting, both legal and illegal.

There is a strong consensus that snow and ice levels in Stoke this summer will remain well below the average recorded for the last three decades and that there is no indication that a return to historical levels will occur. "The Yeti is fucked if this continues," commented Brown, but participating scientists concluded the conference on an optimistic note, saying they were "optimistic that human people can mitigate the effects of global warming and other threats to the Yeti, and ensure that they remain a part of the Stoke ecosystem in perpetuity."

Worker Hurt Erecting "Beware Yeti" Sign

A Stoke City Council worker was erecting notices warning the public to be careful of the Fegg Hayes Yeti when he slipped and hurt his back, neck, wrist, arms and penis.

He made a claim for compensation and the city council has agreed to settle the case out of court, after admitting the accident could have been prevented. The final pay-out has yet to be determined but £750,000 has been set aside to compensate man and cover legal fees. Any remaining money from the fund will go to the Army's 'Hog Roast for Heroes' charity.

The council has now ordered 15,000 pairs of special slip-on shoe soles with metal spikes and studs for all council workers, costing £139 each, to be worn at work at all times, to avoid similar injuries to outdoor workers in future.

Council spokesman Ken Cocksmith said: "It's important the council takes its responsibilities to staff and members of the public seriously, while not going health and safety mad, like Derby City Council does. Council elders need to look at the best way to give those with genuine injuries access to justice, while deterring lawyers who are sleazeballs, like the one Bill Murray played in 'Wild Things'."

The incident happened in June 2011, but was only revealed yesterday after council documents were made public when a worker left them at Trentham Monkey Park.

Fegg Hayes

Fegg Hayes is located in the north of Stoke, next to the Knypersley mountain range.

The name Fegg Hayes comes from the greek 'Fides Hades', meaning 'Faith in Hades'. Hades is the Greek god of the underworld.

Fegg Hayes was one of the original "seven towns" that joined together to form Stoke-on-Trent in 1910 (along with Burslem, Fenton, Hanley, Longton, Stoke-upon-Trent and Tunstall).

Fegg Hayes is the home of the world famous Fegg Hayes Yeti.

http://stokeparanormalsociety.blogspot.com/search/label/Yeti

Fegg Hayes looks different from much of Stoke because of its unique history. From 1386 to 1797, Fegg Hayes was ruled by Viennese nobility. As such, much of Fegg Hayes reflects the era when it was part of the Republic of Vienna, its streets full of romanesque and baroque architecture.

Fegg Hayes High Street

Pop star Robbie Williams grew up in the area.

For more on Fegg Hayes, click here:

http://stokeparanormalsociety.blogspot.com/search/label/Fegg%20Hayes

Fegg Hayes Yeti: Case Studies

One of the strangest Yeti encounters occurred in 1932. Professional gambler and opium dealer Bill Williams was in town for a black jack tournament at the city's number one nightspot, The Ca$hino. After going on a drink and opium bender, Bill wandered into the mountains where he either became snowblind, or went blind from intoxication. As death drew near, he was saved by a giant Yeti, who took him back to his cave and nursed him back to health. Williams wrote a book about his experience called 'The Fegg Hayes Angel'. He later died in a fire at a patisserie.

Bill Williams's sketch of the Fegg Hayes Yeti

Mountaineer Phil Stevens claimed to have gotten into a drunken fight with a yeti in 1986. "He came from nowhere and tried to nick one of my beers. I was like, 'I don’t think so you slag,' and wrestled him for the beer. I won, obviously, and he ran off again like a little bitch." Some people doubt Phil's testimony. But not because he is black.

In 2006, a Bangladeshi Kabbadi team, in the mountains for altitude training ahead of a tournament, witnessed a Yeti and photographed its footprints. The team's leader, Uddin Hossain, claims they observed the Yeti during training. "We were practising our defensive skills, in particular the crocodile hold, when a Yeti ran past us whilst wearing L-plates and a traffic cone on its head. It must have been a hen night celebration."

So far, there is no firm scientific evidence to support the existence of the Fegg Hayes Yeti, but there is no way to show that he doesn't exist either. If he indeed lives in the barren, frozen, unwelcoming, upper reaches of Fegg Hayes, where few men dare to tread, he may find his refuge safe for a long time to come.

Fegg Hayes Yeti: The Tunstall Tail

The Tunstall Tail is an artefact stolen from a Taoist monastery in Tunstall. Supporters contend that the tail is from the Fegg Hayes Yeti. Critics argue that this claim is a load of old rubbish however, and is in fact a fraud.

Dave Munton first heard accounts of the possible existence of a Yeti tail held as a ritual artefact in the monastery in Tunstall during one of his "Abominable Stokeman" treks in 1977. These expeditions were the first to bring photographs of the tail back to Hanley.

On later expeditions in and around Tunstall and Chell, Munton’s associates gathered more information on the Tunstall Tail, and an effort to further examine it was planned. In 1999, Pete Grimes, a member of Munton's expedition that year, reportedly stole pieces of the artefact after the monks who owned it refused to allow its removal for study or play. Grimes claimed to have replaced the stolen bone fragments with badger bones he had taken from Longton Zoo, rewrapping the hand to disguise his theft.

Grimes smuggled the bones from Tunstall into Chell Heath, after which media personality Jonathan Wilkes allegedly smuggled the tail out of Chell Heath in his Widow Twanky pantomime costume. Chat show host Paul O’Grady discovered the story in 2007 while interviewing Wilkes about his forthcoming show 'Stoke's Got Talent'. Wilkes, a close friend of Take That dancer Gary Barlow, confirmed details of the incidents with written materials from the Dave Munton archives.

Jonathan Wilkes takes a break from
his busy work schedule

Staffordshire University Lecturer Phil Majors conducted a physical examination of the pieces that Grimes supplied. His first findings were that the pieces were "definitely bone" and later in 2000 he decided that the Tunstall Tail fragments were "a closer match to some monkey or other than to a human or dog".

In 2001, in conjunction with Majors's research, it was discovered that the Munton expedition consultant, a Derby-based anthropologist by the name of Cletus Conk, had sold samples of the alleged Yeti tail to American shock-rocker Marilyn Manson, who had the bones ground down so he could smoke them in a pipe.

During her highly-publicised 2008 autobiography promotional tour, Fearne Cotton took a side trip to Tunstall to investigate the tail. Cotton was unaware of the possibility that she was looking at a combination of the original material and the badger bones placed there by Grimes. Cotton determined the tail was a hoax.

In 2009, the entire tail was stolen from the Tunstall monastery, and reportedly disappeared into a private collection in Derbyshire. "Don't look at me," Jonathan Wilkes said about the theft.

Fegg Hayes Yeti vs. Sir Edmund Hillary

Sir Edmund Hillary was the first man to reach the summit of Mount Everest. Well, he was the first white man to reach the summit. The first white man from a sensible Commonwealth country, at least.

When news of the Fegg Hayes Yeti reached New Zealand in 1942, they inspired a young Edmund Hillary to vow to visit Stoke one day and explore the Fegg Hayes mountains and find proof of the Yeti. “I vow to visit Stoke one day and explore the Fegg Hayes mountains and find proof of the Yeti,” he is reported to have said.

Sir Edmund finally started his famous expedition to look for the Yeti in 1959; he had been the first man to reach the top of Mount Everest in 1953. Since Shipman and Bubbles had found their tracks some years earlier, many other explorers had searched for and found more. Sir Edmund had even found giant foot prints on the way up to the top of Mount Everest, in 1953, thought to be of the Nepalese Yeti, probably a distant descendant of the Fegg Hayes Yeti.

Edmund lead the 1959 trip in association with local businessman, philanthropist and sexual adventurer Dave Munton. The expedition was sponsored by Coca Cola and Tunstall Assurance and was well equipped.

Dave Munton, yesterday

The party had ten Sherpa, cameras, including infrared and night vision equipment, a portaloo and a mobile disco. Despite a six-month stay the group failed to find any convincing evidence of the existence of the Yeti. The artefacts they did find, two skeletons and a scalp, turned out to belong to two circus midgets and a dwarf.

At the time Hillary came to the conclusion that the Fegg Hayes Yeti was a legend and nothing more. “I have come to the conclusion that the Fegg Hayes Yeti is a legend and nothing more,” he said.

Later, Munton concluded that the problem with the expedition was that it had been too big and clumsy. “The Sherpa spent most of their time lugging around all of the coke bottles Coca Cola had given us,” he explained. “Also, we forgot to take a map with us. In the end, we didn't see a Yeti, which disappointed us, but we did see a UFO and some ghosts.” Munton would later fund further expeditions to search for the Fegg Hayes Yeti.

Fegg Hayes Yeti: The History

The Fegg Hayes Yeti is a creature reputed to inhabit the mountain ranges in the northern Stoke region known as Fegg Hayes. The creature is not currently recognised or catalogued by scientists; they reject the possibility that the Yeti can exist because of the climate and food supply issues and because of the large numbers necessary to maintain a breeding population. Skeptics also say that Yeti tracks were made by ordinary animals like a bear or an ape. But that doesn’t stop locals from believing the myths.

There are questions about its origin, if the Yeti does exist. One theory is that the Yetis are descendants of the Packmoors, an ancient people that fled into the mountains to escape their enemies, who would probably have been heathens from Kidsgrove. Some experts claim that the Yeti has descended from a race of giant apes, who retreated into Fegg Hayes several hundred thousand years ago. In the following millennia, they degraded to a race of monstrous creatures.

Yetis appear in the legends of the Stoke people, who tell stories of sightings and human-Yeti interactions dating back several hundred years. The frequency of reports increased during the early 20th century, when people from the Southern Stoke towns began venturing north of Lake Burslem and the River Trent, making determined attempts to scale the many mountains of the Fegg Hayes area and occasionally reported seeing odd creatures or strange tracks.

A Yeti typically has white or grey hair, is said to have a terrible smell and it is very strong – it picks up and throws boulders as if they were Monster Munch! They are also nocturnal; they sleep during the day and forage at night. Yetis have been heard making whistling sounds and roaring like a lion. The Yeti is also rumoured to be very fond of kebabs and alcoholic drinks.

The first international report of the Yeti appeared in 1921 when German photographer Helmut Dannheimer, working on a chain gang in the mountains for his war crimes, saw a creature in the distance urinating on the snowman he had built earlier in the day. “The creature walked upright, like a person, or a giant squirrel,” said Dannheimer. “It wore no clothes. I wanted to photograph it nude, but it left before I could get my camera,” he continued in his comical German accent.

The chain gang inspected the snowman where the Yeti had been. “It had urinated all over the snowman’s face,” said chain gang member Freddy Steele, who was serving a two year prison sentence for failing to wear a suitable hat in the presence of a monarch (King George V). “I saw this as a warning sign for us to leave the Yeti’s area, but the guards felt otherwise and made us eat the snowman in a show of defiance.”

The story reached Germany, where the Yeti story appeared on the front pages of national newspapers, and where Steele became an inspiration to rebellious youngsters in the Weimar Republik, to the extent that it became “uncool” to wear the correct hat at social functions. This is also around the time when the name “The Abominable Stokeman” was first used.

"Try not to blink this time!"

 

Some of the best Yeti tracks ever photographed were taken by cockney mountaineers and war-evaders Harry Shipman and Mickey Bubbles in 1941. They found them on the southern slopes of the Mong Glacier to the east of Fegg Hayes. Each print was twelve inches wide and eighteen inches long (about the same size as an A3 poster of Michael Bolton), much bigger than the average foot size of a fully-grown Stoke-based human. The tracks seemed fresh, so the pair followed them, but soon got distracted by some passing women looking for bunny rabbits.

Some experts who viewed the photographs could not identify the tracks as any known creature, while some other experts said they recognised the tracks but couldn’t remember which creature they came from.