Bigfoot Corpse Found?

In 2004, badger-baiters Steve Taylors and Dave Lichfields claimed to have made the greatest scientific discovery in Stoke's history: a Bigfoot corpse!

Bigfoot's severed head?

Naming the corpse Dave Stevens, in honour of themselves, they discovered it during a tree-chopping holiday in Central Forest Park. They claimed that the body had already suffered its fatal gunshot wound when they found it, and they also claimed to have seen a further group of the beasts dancing nearby as they dragged the corpse out of the forest.

 

Taylors, 27, and Stevens, 29 and currently on sick leave from his job as a taster at a pie factory, gave photographs of the Bigfoot’s tracks to local newspaper The Stoke Daily Gargoyle. The paper's resident Sherpa and Bigfoot columnist, Nigel Dale, declared the prints as genuine! "This is the real deal," wrote Dale.

 

A website was set up to cash in on the hype. Charging money to register, subscribers had a chance to see pictures of the alleged Bigfoot's decapitated head, and got a 25% discount off merchandising like t-shirts and condoms.

Taylors and Stevens

Some people started to doubt that the Bigfoot was real; Taylors and Stevens had not let anybody view the corpse, and their publicity was being handled by local adventurer Dave Munton, unpopular with some locals since The Stoke Daily Gargoyle broke the story  that he had described Stoke women as "dogs" to undercover reporters while enjoying a stay at a Spanish brothel. The Stoke Bigfoot Association asked for further proof, while the Bigfoot Association of Stoke dismissed the claims as "retarded" and described Taylors and Stevens as "a pair of spazzy clowns". Local magazine The Stoke Skeptic described the story as "obviously bollocks".

Due to local pressure, Taylors and Stevens eventually allowed Monkeyologists from Staffordshire University to assess the corpse. It turned out to be a man in a Bigfoot suit. Taylors and Stevens reiterated that the body was dead when they found it, and that they only decapitated the man (real name: Terry) so he would fit in the boot of their car. Police are not treating the death as suspicious.