The Lake Burslem Monster, normally called "Bursie" (or occasionally "Bossie") is a creature reported to live in Lake Burslem. Burslem is located south of the mountainous Fegg Hayes area and north of the forested area of Central Forest Park. Lake Burslem itself is around 12 miles long and 1 mile wide, and is more than 1000 feet deep and ice free.
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| The western edge of Lake Burslem |
Bursie is one of the best-known mysteries in the world, though most mainstream scientists regard Bursie reports as hoaxes or misidentification of mundane creatures.
Some local researchers, included noted psychic Crystal O’Future and Paul Brown (Managing Director of the Paul Brown Bossie Foundation) postulate that there are no anomalous physical creatures within the lake. These researchers argue that many of the reported sightings must be attributed to hoaxes or misidentification of conventional creatures and objects because of the absence of physical evidence.
Most accounts of Bursie describe a creature resembling the long-extinct plesiosaur. Fossils of this creature show that it had a long neck, small head and flippers; most of the Bursie witnesses describe something similar. A gaping red mouth and horns or antennae on the top of the creature's head is often mentioned by witnesses. Bursie’s movements have been studied, and the films and photos analysed to determine what Bursie might be, if she exists. But some other sightings describe Bursie differently.
Theories as to the exact nature of the Lake Burslem Monster sightings are varied: misidentification of seals, fish, logs, mirages and light distortion, crossing of boat wakes, or unusual wave patterns. Very large octopus have also been found in Lake Burslem, and due to octopus’s size and unusual appearance, one could easily be mistaken for a monster by someone not familiar with it. Local paranormal expert and pikelet impresario Dave Munton argues that only a small residue of reported lake sightings could be paranormal or supernatural in nature. Munton, who has a conviction for sexual fraud, believes Bursie is a pan-dimensional time-traveller, here to warn us against the dangers of pollution, global warming and other similar issues. He does not give a reason why he believes that.
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| Some sheep near to Lake Burslem |
Carvings have been found in caves near to the lake, believed to have been made almost 2000 years ago by the ancient inhabitants of Burslem. These carvings show an aquatic beast eating nudists who dared to venture too close to the lake. The earliest recorded literary reference is a diary by Italian Monk St Kevin of Palermo, who claimed in 532 AD that he fought off the monster when it attacked the naked young boys who were accompanying him on a journey. Critics have questioned the reliability of the source, noting a different story in which St Kevin slays a wild dragon by the power of his penis. They also point out that, according to his diaries, St Kevin encounters and conquers assorted monsters at various places in Europe throughout his life, always defeating them, often with the power of his penis or testicles. Additionally, it has been pointed out that the Lake Burslem Monster has few other reported instance of attacking anyone, and in fact is generally portrayed as shy and people-avoidant.
In around 1912, a new road was built on the northern shore of the lake, originally designed to allow tourists to access the Fegg Hayes Mountain Range. This new road provided easy access to unobstructed views of the water. Bursie sightings increased immediately and began to draw international attention.
The first modern sighting occurred in January 1913. The Daily Oatcake newspaper carried a story of Paul Sifter, who reportedly saw a massive monster thrashing about on the surface. The report of the "MONSTER!" (a headline chosen by the editor) became a media sensation with newspapers in London, who sent reporters and an elephant circus to Stoke, and offered a reward of 25 pounds for the capture and killing of the monster. In June that year, Phil Mycock claimed to have witnessed Bursie. Mycock, who would go on to die during World War I fighting for Bulgaria, described the creature as having its head set low in the water and opening and closing its mouth as if it was smoking an invisible cigar.
Lake Burslem Investigation Bureau
In around 1912, a new road was built on the northern shore of the lake, originally designed to allow tourists to access the Fegg Hayes Mountain Range. This new road provided easy access to unobstructed views of the water. Bursie sightings increased immediately and began to draw international attention.
The first modern sighting occurred in January 1913. The Daily Oatcake newspaper carried a story of Paul Sifter, who reportedly saw a massive monster thrashing about on the surface. The report of the "MONSTER!" (a headline chosen by the editor) became a media sensation with newspapers in London, who sent reporters and an elephant circus to Stoke, and offered a reward of 25 pounds for the capture and killing of the monster. In June that year, Phil Mycock claimed to have witnessed Bursie. Mycock, who would go on to die during World War I fighting for Bulgaria, described the creature as having its head set low in the water and opening and closing its mouth as if it was smoking an invisible cigar.
Lake Burslem Investigation Bureau
The Lake Burslem Investigation Bureau (LBIB) was set up in 1959 to act as a research organisation for information about the great beast. The LBIB established camera stations with both still and video cameras with telephoto lenses. They had burger vans around the lake which also served as mobile camera stations, and underwater listening devices attached to old boots and fridges that had been thrown in the lake. Searches were conducted using hot-air balloons (manned by orphans), small submarines (manned by circus midgets) and sonar scanners attached to crabs. A great deal of information was discovered about the lake, especially about crabs, but they have yet to produce any concrete evidence of a monster.
In the early 1970s, a group led by American DeWayne Boxcar obtained some underwater photographs that vaguely resembled a flipper. The underwater photos were obtained by painstakingly scouring the lake’s depths with sonar-enabled crabs, over the course of days, for unusual underwater activity. An underwater camera was then stapled onto a fish (fitted with a light necessary for penetrating Lake Burslem’s famously murky water) to record images from below the surface. Some of the resulting photographs seem to show a creature resembling a plesiosaur in various positions and lightings.
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| Bursie's flipper? |
On the basis of this photograph, Sir Giles Gallywag, one of Britain's best-known naturalists and fox-hunters, announced in 1973 that the scientific name of the monster would henceforth be Burslemas Veritas. This would enable Bursie to be added to a British register of officially protected wildlife.
Bursie Sightings
Famous 1980s comedian Russ Abbott took pictures of a wake moving against the current from his balcony at the Boslem Hotel during the mid-afternoon. It was around midday when the former funny man, touring the Midlands with Geoffrey Durham (aka: The Great Soprendo) in a production of 'Porgy and Bess', spotted what he first thought to be a dead black midget’s body floating on the surface of the lake. It appeared to be about three feet long and one foot tall at its highest point. The object then moved against the wave formation in the area creating a wake as it did so. Abbott, famous for his TV Madhouse, saw some kind of water disturbance about three feet behind the black coloured object, which appeared to rise slightly out of the water before submerging. An experienced whale hunter, Abbott said that he had never before seen anything like it. Whether Russ threw a party after his encounter, a party with a happy atmosphere, and attended by Les Dennis and Bella Emberg, is unknown.
Bursie Sightings
Down the years, there have been many hundreds of sightings of the Lake Burslem Monster. Here is a selection of some of the most significant.
06 August 1968
During Stoke's "Summer Of Love", a year later than everyone else's, Dr Doomsday (real name: Mick Beanstalk) and his "family" [cult] from Kent watched what they described as the head of a large animal move through the lake in the early evening. The family, who worship aliens and believe in free love, were sunbathing on top of their Love Bus. They described the head as larger than that of an alien. Regular visitors to the area, the family were convinced it was not a boat wake or wave movement that they had seen.
25 March 1973
American Buck Rockhauser was shooting fish from his boat on the lake one afternoon when he says that Bursie lifted her tail out of the water and knocked him overboard. "Instead of panicking, I swam to shore then started shooting at Bursie instead of the fish. I think I got it at least once," he explained.
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| Artist's impression of Bursie |
30 July 1977
Sharon Bender, a retired wife from Hanley, was fly-tipping some old fish into Lake Burslem when she got a big surprise: Bursie popped her head out of the water to see what she was doing! Sharon immediately turned and ran back to her car, before driving to a local newspaper to sell her story.
06 May 1986
Paul "Coops" Cooper from Norton was taking a series of pictures of his penis near to the Spitfire Caverns, on the eastern side of the lake. When he got home and developed the pictures, he was surprised to see Bursie’s head and neck coming out of the water behind him!
10 January 1993
Local gymnastics enthusiast Dave Knight saw a six foot long creature leave the lake, look around, then perform a dance similar to the one Genesis did in their 'I Can't Dance' music video, before re-entering the lake. This happened for about 2-3 minutes close to Cheg's Castle early in the morning. Knight, who recently beat up a tramp, readily admits he was drunk at the time of the sighting, but hopes people will still believe his story anyway.
09 June 1997
A retired Mariner (Captain Jeff Buckles) was in charge of a booze cruise just south of Phil Taylor Bay when they were overtaken by an unknown object which was between them and the west shore. Unlike anything any of the sober people on the boat had seen before, the sighting lasted for just over a minute with whatever it was only disappearing as they moved the boat towards it. Captain Buckles, who once dated TV personality Liza Tarbuck, said that there was no rational explanation for what they had seen. Apart from the existence of Bursie that is!
22 November 2001
For the first time since the assassination of JFK in 1963, Bursie was spotted out of the water on the shores of Lake Burslem by Spanish tourist Pedro Navaz. The Spaniard, who has since been imprisoned in Italy for conspiracy to linger with intent, claimed the unique sighting took place in the early evening on the beach between Robbie Williams Point and Phil Taylor Bay. Bursie, described as being between 10-15 metres in length with a long neck, scurried off into the water as Navaz approached with a big sword.
17 July 2005
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| Russ Abbott, yesterday |
15 September 2006
Bill Wilkes, owner of the Lake Burslem Caravan Park, took five pictures of what he described as a 4 feet high head and neck while he was dogging at a car park by the Lake. He said he saw a long neck come out of the water and had time to return to his caravan, get his camera, and return to take the pictures. Previously a non-believer, he said that the creature could only have been Bursie and that he would now devote himself to proving Bursie’s existence to the detriment of everything else in his life, especially his marriage to wife Sue, aged 50.
Bill Wilkes, owner of the Lake Burslem Caravan Park, took five pictures of what he described as a 4 feet high head and neck while he was dogging at a car park by the Lake. He said he saw a long neck come out of the water and had time to return to his caravan, get his camera, and return to take the pictures. Previously a non-believer, he said that the creature could only have been Bursie and that he would now devote himself to proving Bursie’s existence to the detriment of everything else in his life, especially his marriage to wife Sue, aged 50.
25 July 2008
Spotted on a Lake Burslem webcam, regular Bursie watcher Chip Steele spotted something come out of the water and disappear a few minutes later. Steele, an American Gladiator (stage name: Thrush), doesn't believe that Bursie is evil. "I can’t imagine him using his power for bad," he says.
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