Wednesday 27 June 2012

Vampire Corpse Found In Tunstall?

Amateur grave robbers believe they have found the remains of a female vampire in Tunstall - buried with corks on her teeth to prevent her biting people if/when she resurrects!

Phil Slapper, a media studies lecturer at Staffordshire University and vampire enthusiast who has seen every episode of 'The Vampire Diaries' on ITV2, said that the discovery in a tomb at Tunstall Cemetary is the first time that grave robbers have succeeded in finding a vampire. "This is the first time that grave robbers have succeeded in finding a vampire," he said. "As far as I'm concerned, as an academic, this proves the existence of vampires. And I think I speak on behalf of Staffordshire University when I say that."

The skeleton was unearthed by body snatchers Derek Tingle and Dave Link, who were later given another dead body as replacement for the corpse that they would have had if the one they'd stolen originally hadn't turned out to have (possibly) been a vampire.

Some vampires

"It's possible that other corpses have been found with corks on their teeth, but this is the first time anyone has told me about it," said Mr Slapper.

The skeleton was tied down with iron clamps and had a giant clothes peg drilled through where the woman's heart would have been.

Traffic warden and amateur paranormal debunker Dick Mellor is skeptical about the find. Writing in Stoke Skeptic magazine, he argued: "You mark my words, this will turn out not to be a real vampire. It will just be some oldentime skank who was killed and buried by religious nuts 'cus she liked to party hard, like it always is in these cases. If this is a real vampire, I will gladly suck the balls of every man in Stoke."

While legends about vampires date back thousands of years, the modern figure of the vampire was invented by Francis Ford Coppola in his 1992 film 'Bram Stoker's Dracula'. The film was later novelised by Fred Saberhagen, if you'd like to read a book version of the Dracula myth.

1 comment:

  1. "While legends about vampires date back thousands of years, the modern figure of the vampire was invented by Francis Ford Coppola in his 1992 film 'Bram Stoker's Dracula'. The film was later novelised by Fred Saberhagen, if you'd like to read a book version of the Dracula myth".

    Really? It wouldn't happen to be... Bram Stoker who invented the modern vampire myth.. he wrote Dracula? Doh!!!!

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