Wednesday 25 February 2015

Stokie Makes Mars Mission

Nigel Tanner from Middleport has defended NASA's forthcoming one-way mission to Mars as being vital for scientific research.

The unemployed father of seven, currently living at girlfriend's mum's council flat in Bog End Street, was chosen as one of 100 people who will be jetting off to the red planet in 10 years time to begin preparations for colonisation.


"This mission will lay the foundations for the seemingly inevitable human habitation of Mars," Tanner said. "I'm over the moon, literally, to be a part of it."

Tanner, who has appeared on The Jeremy Kyle Show 3 times, has been described as a layabout and scrounger by his recent ex-wife Tracy, claims that he refutes.

"Yeah I got no job, but she don't even know me," he said. "Bitch just jealous I got with her best friend, yo. And she's one to talk, she been sucking dick for crack, ai."