Christmas And New Year UFO Reports (Part II)

25 December 2012

When local vicar Rev Charles Cockshoot saw a UFO over Burslem on Christmas morning, it changed his life forever. "It made me realise that everything I believe in is nonsense," said the 'Strictly Come Dancing' fan, 50. "I quit the church there and then and am now much happier."

27 December 2012

Making her way home to Birches Head after picking up a copy of the eponymous debut album by acclaimed singer-songwriter Rickie Lee Jones for just £3 in the HMV sale, bricklayer Tuft Godfreys witnessed a UFO crash. "One of the flying spacecrafts pulled out in front of the other, causing the crash," said the 'Dancing On Ice' viewer. "The two aliens got out of their ships and argued about who was to blame. I didn't get involved."

31 December 2012

When angry loner Nigel Maycock took to the top of Packmoor Tower on New Year's Eve, intending to pick off random revellers with his sniper rile, he didn't expect to see a UFO! "I expected bloodshed," laughs the postman, 50. "I was setting my scope up when I saw one of them UFOs. Looked like a new one too."

Girl Faces Surgery After Ghost Beating

A 14-year-old girl who suffered severe injuries to her face and legs in a fight with a ghost outside a nightclub will today undergo further surgery.

Packmoor Community School pupil Mariah Hammersley has already had a pin inserted in her nose and a new tattoo on her leg, but faces a further operation to replace a broken eyebrow piercing.


Artist's impression of the ghost suspect



Meanwhile, parents at the school were yesterday calling for ghost hunting measures to be introduced into the area.

Residents say Stoke-on-Trent City Council elders ditched plans for a safe parking area outside of Jinky's Hot Spot in 2009 as a way to discourage drink-driving.

Several local residents have volunteered to form an angry mob to hunt the ghost with sticks.

Ghost Told Drunken Mourner To Punch Stranger

Mourner Alan Jazz assaulted a motorist after drinking about eight pints at a wake! Fenton magistrates heard the 28-year-old attended the funeral of a close friend on January 6 then beat up a man on the orders of his dead friend's ghost.

Prosecutor Claire Carlsberg said Jazz's victim, Matt Bullock, was driving along the road in a Vauxhall Nova with his wife in the front passenger seat. "He saw a large number of people walking down both sides of the road. A male and female walked in front of his vehicle. The female dropped to her knees," said Mrs Carlsberg.

"The defendant forcefully opened the door and told Mr Bullock to get out the car. He punched him six or seven times. Mr Bullock did get out and others pulled the defendant back. The defendant shouted 'I will kill you' and did a flying head-butt to the car. He then head-butted the door four or five times." It was estimated £1,500 damage was caused to the car.

Jazz, aged 28, of Packmoor, pleaded guilty to assault and criminal damage, but said that the ghost of his late friend had told him to do it.

Rachel Carling, mitigating, said Mr Jazz put out his hand with a view to get the car to slow down. But the vehicle came into contact with the prostitute he was with. "He cannot recall because he had consumed so much booze, but he was aware the vehicle had made contact with the hooker. He foolishly approached and asked the driver why he had just done that. He accepts head-butting the car. He thinks the advice of his dead friend's ghost was absolutely disgraceful and he has since unfriended him on Facebook."

Magistrates sentenced the defendant to a 12-month community order with 200 hours hard labour. And he was ordered to pay £175 compensation to Mr Bullock, £500 for the damage to the car and £85 costs, and £2,500 for an exorcist to put to rest the spirit of his dead friend.

Beware Sex Offender

Staffordshire Police are urging Stokies to be vigilant after reports on Friday night of a man in Cobridge flashing at passers-by from the front of his Vauxhall Nova. Police spokesman PC Barry Shanks has described the man as "a right pervy old bastard".

TV reports the story

I reported over Christmas the sighting of a ghost flasher in Packmoor. There's no indication that this flasher is a ghost, but you can never be too sure!

12 Ghost of Christmas (4)

Single mother-of-three Chloe Dogg (not related to Snoop), 17, was taking a hard-earned cigarette break away from her kids near to her house in Packmoor when she was flashed by the ghost of a miner!

Packmoor's Commercial District

"He 'ad one of them there 'elmets wi' a light on top," Chloe explains, just in case you were wondering how she knew it was a miner. "I'll tell thee now, if I catch up wi' it, I'll smack its bastard face in," Chloe added, warning the ghost of her anger at his actions. "What kinda woman does t' ghost take me for? Does I look like a slag?"