Wednesday 20 June 2012

Stoke Ready For Summer Solstice

Pagans, hippies, witches, Wiccans and regular salt-of-the-Earth Stokies are ready for this years summer solstice with the ceremonial burning down of Stockton Brook Town Hall, an event held every year at the beginning of the summer festivities.

While many people will be going to Stokehenge for the naked celebrations held there, Stokies in the rest of the city will be starting fires and burning effigies of their enemies as a sacrifice to the Sun God, as a thank you for the summer season.

Stokehenge

City councillor Den Dateline expects the city to be busy. "We have used a big complex formula, which is all in our heads, and we expect around 4 million people to come to Stoke for the celebrations. We reckon the average person will eat 3 oatcakes, so we've ordered 12 million oatcakes from local producers. The centrepiece will be the burning of a giant wicker Peter Crouch in the city centre, as he has been voted Stoke's man of the year."

The summer solstice occurs when the Earth's axial tilt is most inclined towards the sun, something not lost on most Stokies. This occurs every year between 20 and 22 June, depending on the shift of the calendar.

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