Emerging in front of the assembled press pack at Quasar at Festival Park wearing only a purple velvet track suit, (and no pants or shoes, as he was keen to point out,) film critic David Murray, who was recently declared missing for over a week, stunned journalists by announcing that he was the son of god!
"I have been reborn to fight evil on the planet," said Murray. "Evil forces have ruled the world for centuries and I have come back, with the power of God, to try to help the world."
To the bewilderment of all assembled, Murray went on to describe conspiracy theories involving monarchs, world leaders, aliens, badgers and more!
"This shadowy ruling network is responsible for everything in the world, from 11/9, as it should be called, to the disaster in New Orleans and the wars in Iraq and Afghanistan. My mission is now to make people aware of this conspiracy against humanity and to fight their future plans. That is all."
Murray's publicist added that he was planning on writing books about his experience and mission, and will be going on a lecture tour in the near future.
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