Sunday 12 August 2012

Baby Eats Snake, No Motive Given

Thirteen-month-old Rihanna Pleb, who has a feeble six teeth, was found chewing on the head of a 12 inch snake by her mother, who alerted her estate with her screams.

"I was squeezing her some milk out from my tit and I looked over and saw she had a snake in her mouth," said Rihanna's mother, Kylie Trunk, who lives in Brindley Ford. "I started to scream. I couldn't believe my fookin' eyes," she told the Stoke Paranormal Society. "I nearly shat myself in fright."

A typical English snake

"We rushed in and found the baby with a snake in his mouth, chewing on it like a little bastard without a care in the world. It was really scary, just horrible," the girl's aunt, Beyonce Trunk, said.

A neighbour who had rushed to see what was going on yanked the half-dead reptile out of the girl's mouth and killed it by smashing its head against a DVD box set of 'The Only Way is Essex', she said. "When he pulled it out, Rihanna started crying like a little bitch," she said. She described the snake's head as "looking like a fucked-up pork scratching" when it emerged from the girl's mouth.

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