Sunday, 30 September 2012

Paranormal Investigator In Wine Bottle Insertion Scandal

Local paranormal investigator Mick Wessex has hit the headlines once again after being taken to hospital with a wine bottle stuck in his anus.

The incident happened on Saturday night while Mick was watching the film 'Sliver' on Channel 4. His precise current condition is not known, but has been described as "cheeky" by nurses.

Mick Wessex

The exact circumstances that lead to the accident are currently the subject of wild speculation on MumsNet, but University Hospital of North Staffordshire spokesman Terry Bodger confirmed that the bottle has now been removed. "Fortunately, the bottle was empty and had a cocaine-laced condom on it, making it easier to extract."

Mr Wessex has only just resumed his paranormal investigations following a previous hospital stay when he fell out of a plane and landed on a prostitute, causing him serious injury. The prostitute died in the incident.

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