There is rising concern among boffins that the big recent summertime retreats of snow and ice in the Fegg Hayes area of Stoke are already harming Yeti populations. That was one conclusion of the Paul Brown Yeti Group, a network of Yeti experts and academics who held a conference in Fegg Hayes last week to review the latest data on the population of Yetis in and around the mountain ranges of the Fegg Hayes area in northern Stoke.
The group, part of the International Union for Yeti Conservation, includes biologists, politicians, non-profit conservation organisations and celebrities such as local stars Jonathan Wilkes and Anthea Turner. At its last meeting, in 2005, the group concluded that the Yeti population was in decline.
The meeting was not without controversy. Mick Taylor, a Derbyshire expert who had attended the conferences for many years, told some reporters that he was banned for attending this year because he says that "global warming doesn't exist and, as such, cannot possibly have any affect on the Yeti population". But Paul Brown, the lifetime honorary chairman of the Paul Brown Yeti Group, gave an alternative reason for banning Taylor: "He's an idiot and he smells bad, really stinks up the meetings. And we're sick of his yokel Derby accent."
The group, part of the International Union for Yeti Conservation, includes biologists, politicians, non-profit conservation organisations and celebrities such as local stars Jonathan Wilkes and Anthea Turner. At its last meeting, in 2005, the group concluded that the Yeti population was in decline.
The meeting was not without controversy. Mick Taylor, a Derbyshire expert who had attended the conferences for many years, told some reporters that he was banned for attending this year because he says that "global warming doesn't exist and, as such, cannot possibly have any affect on the Yeti population". But Paul Brown, the lifetime honorary chairman of the Paul Brown Yeti Group, gave an alternative reason for banning Taylor: "He's an idiot and he smells bad, really stinks up the meetings. And we're sick of his yokel Derby accent."
The Fegg Hayes-based group is pressing world governments for cuts in greenhouse-gas emissions and better efforts to control all forms of animal hunting, both legal and illegal.
There is a strong consensus that snow and ice levels in Stoke this summer will remain well below the average recorded for the last three decades and that there is no indication that a return to historical levels will occur. "The Yeti is fucked if this continues," commented Brown, but participating scientists concluded the conference on an optimistic note, saying they were "optimistic that human people can mitigate the effects of global warming and other threats to the Yeti, and ensure that they remain a part of the Stoke ecosystem in perpetuity."
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