Tuesday, 17 July 2012

Man Survives 3500m Fall

PI (Paranormal Investigator) Mick Wessex says he would consider free-falling again for money, despite nearly dying in his 14 July plunge to earth from 3500m above Stockton Brook.

"It was a million-to-one chance," he told the Sunday Oatcake newspaper. "It could easily happen again, I reckon. I'll continue making my living as a paranormal investigator and I'll still supplement that by taking on 'crazy' bets like this one."

Mr Wessex survived because he landed on a prostitute, breaking his fall and her neck, severing her spinal cord and starving her brain of oxygen. She died almost immediately. "I bet she quite literally didn't know what had hit her," laughed Mr Wessex, who will not be charged with her murder.


Mick Wessex

Photographs from the incident have been posted on several websites, and Mr Wessex is reported to have been offered more than £43,000 for TV rights to the video (by TV show 'Rude Tube') of the moment when he tugged the ripcord and discovered his parachute would not open. "It will be hilarious," commented 'Rude Tube' presenter Alex Zane. "The look on a man's face as he thinks his own death is imminent... Priceless."

Mick will not be entitled to any of the money however as he's a convicted felon currently doing community service.

Mr Wessex's friend Jonathan King, not the paedo, someone else with the same name who jumped from the same plane, also filmed the fall, and as he landed a few seconds later, his helmet camera showed Mr Holmes bleeding, broken and unconscious - but alive with only a punctured lung and a broken ankle.

Mr Wessex has been in University Hospital of North Staffordshire since the accident. He hopes to resume his paranormal investigations in August. Due to his past benefit frauds, he is unable to claim any benefits this time around and must pay for his hospital treatment.

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