"You've got to speculate to accumulate," said councillor Mick Gayes at a press conference at the Regent Theatre to announce the education budget for the next school year, 2012-2013. This was in response to questions asking why the city council is shaving £1.7million off its education grant to schools in Stoke-on-Trent to fund research into UFOs.
Councillor Timmy Shrug, the deputy assistant to the council's deputy leader, said: "The Government is changing funding criteria and sending it straight to research facilities, but Stoke-on-Trent City Council still has its statutory duties. Schools will still get some funding, but not as much."
Councillor Peter Frampton, cabinet member for finance, said: "Schools are a cost pressure we have to deal with. They don't bring any money in, yet they cost us a shitload of cash. Fair's fair, the UFO research will hopefully bring some money back into the system."
Some locals have raised concerns over the grant cut with the city council, but Mr Frampton said they are not expecting any further changes to the budget, adding: "This is the way it will be now. We've quite literally spent hours on this, we won't be going through it all again."
The city council argues it cannot afford to fall behind in the area of UFO research. "We've seen places like Derby doing research into UFOs," explains Mick Gayes. "I'll be fucked like a cheap crack whore if we let that lot of inbred yokels get ahead of us."
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