Woman Gives Birth To Ghost

A Stoke woman being investigated for benefit fraud has had her investigation suspended while her claim that she gave birth to a ghost are checked.

Gabbee Bonkers, 21, from 24 Blizzard Street in Birches Head, had been claiming child benefit and income support for her fourth child, Billy, for over a year when a social worker paid her a visit to find no evidence of Billy.

A baby dressed as a ghost

Ms Bonkers, currently on holiday in Kavos, told investigators that she had given birth to a ghost in a home birth but had previously been too embarrassed to say anything. She says she also didn't know how to stop her benefits.

"I'm going to stick my neck out and say that this story is true," says psychic, medium and Gabbee's literary agent, Crystal O'Future. "This is a real game changer in the world of ghost babies."

Police Turn To Psychics To Find Missing Pervert

Rather than put out an APB, Staffordshire Police have asked psychics for their help in finding convicted paedophile Ted Screamer.

"We will have a two week sift of applications before a rigorous interview process," says spokesman PC Barry Shanks. "After we choose our candidate, we will get security clearance for them which can take upto four months, then we will be in a position to start our induction programme. After that is complete, we can get down to the business of trying to find this pervert."

Ted Screamer has been described as one of Stoke's most dangerous men.

"That is why we are not taking this process lightly," added PC Shanks.

Halloween Round-Up

Halloween in Stoke is always a grand affair and this year was no different, with a 75% increase in reported deaths, setting a new city record for the holiday.

A bad heroin batch accounted for some of the deaths though city officials are putting the increase down to angry loners on top of churches taking pot shots at people with sniper rifles.

Staffordshire Police have warned revellers that 5 November is the busiest night of the year for murderers as they can burn their victims's bodies on bonfires almost undetected.