Thursday, 14 March 2013

Conspiracy Corner With Dave Munton

No. 3: The Death of Paul McCartney

We all know that Wings and Frog Chorus frontman Paul McCartney died in 1966 and was replaced by a lookalike. However, what if I spat into your open mouth like you were a cheap hooker and told you that this was all a lie and it was actually John Lennon who had really died and been doppelganged?

Secret documents, bearing the legend "For Your Eyes Only", meaning it's not intended for plebs like us, but for people high up in government, have been shown to me confirming that Lennon died in a car crash soon after England won the World Cup in the summer of 1966. Worried about the impact this may have on the nation's good mood and the economy, the then government insisted that The Beatles replace Lennon, which they did with lookalike competition winner Kev Barry. The rumour was then spread that McCartney had died and been replaced because this was easy to disprove if required, and meant that no-one would suspect that it was John who had actually died.


Clues were left by the remaining Beatles for fans to find. The cover of "Abbey Road" shows John at the front, dressed in heavenly white, to show he is dead but in the good place. John is also the only Beatle with hands in his pockets, to hide his fingerprints and thus cover the fact that he is not the original John. Also, When 'Revolution 9' is played backwards, the replacement John clearly says "Turn me on, I'm a dead man, yeah."

Lennon's relationship with Yoko Ono is also a significant indicator of Lennon's death as Kev Barry (John's replacement) was notoriously a fan of Asian babes, subscribing to at least three different magazines on the subject before he replaced the dead Beatle.

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