This time of year is always a busy one for UFO spotters, as many aliens head home for the holidays, often too drunk to worry about covering their flight paths from prying human eyes.
19 December 2012
Burglar Ken Toxic was shimmying up a drainpipe at a legally undisclosable location in Bentilee (his ex-wife's house) when he witnessed a flying saucer go overhead. "It was saucer-shaped and it was flying," said the common thief. "And I couldn't identify what it was. I don't know if there's a name for such a thing, but that's what I saw," added the self-confessed fan of Tina from 'Corrie'.
21 December 2012
Jobless Reg Milker was returning to his home in Tunstall home from a late night drinking sesh, when he looked up at the sky while urinating into a postbox to see three spaceships flying in formation northwards. "I don’t know where they're going," said Reg, who prefers Maria to Tina in 'Corrie'. "But they were sure in a hurry, they were going dicking fast."
24 December 2012
Santa didn't have a lot of stops to make in Stoke this year because everyone was so naughty, so residents of Sneyd Green had to make do with watching overhead illegal sky races by drunken teenage aliens.
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