Stoke Paranormal Society office chimney sweep Barry T. Badger has apologised after calling the organisation "filth" and advising people that investigating the paranormal is "like wanking off Satan's spiky cock".
"I am sorry I called the people who work here 'cock-juggling fucktards' and 'slack-arsed poon-dogs'," said Badger in a statement. "These people are the closest thing I have had to a family since they bought me at the orphan auction, after the tragic deaths of my parents at the hands of Scottish separatist terrorists."
The chimney sweep said he has not taken the paranormal seriously lately, instead spending much of his time taking drugs and having sex with floozies.
"I now realise that partying, taking drugs and having sex is no way to live," continued Badger. "I need to find a new direction in life."
"I am sorry I called the people who work here 'cock-juggling fucktards' and 'slack-arsed poon-dogs'," said Badger in a statement. "These people are the closest thing I have had to a family since they bought me at the orphan auction, after the tragic deaths of my parents at the hands of Scottish separatist terrorists."
The chimney sweep said he has not taken the paranormal seriously lately, instead spending much of his time taking drugs and having sex with floozies.
"I now realise that partying, taking drugs and having sex is no way to live," continued Badger. "I need to find a new direction in life."
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