Fairy Cream

Fairy Cream is a substance which allows humans to see fairies. Be careful though, as a fairy may have tampered with it to harm you!

According to myth, the cream used to be given to newborn babies to calm them and stop their annoying crying. Accidentally, a judge of a newborn baby competition got some in her eyes and was able to see fairies and the grotto they had in the house. After becoming aware of this, the fairies added some of their jizz to the cream to spoil it. When the judge asked other people to try the cream, it just stung their eyes and didn't help them to see the fairies. The judge was branded a madwoman and killed.

The cream also allows humans to see through the lies of fairies. For example, if a fairy has disguised itself as a human midget or leprechaun, the user would see the fairy in its true hideous form, and not its cute leppy form.

"Contrary to public perception, fairies are actually devious swine and should be exterminated," fairy hunting expert Tom Comb said. "Fortunately, their flesh is delicious."

Bonkers Hours

According to local folklore, people born at certain hours of the day are able to see ghosts and communicate with the dead. This crucial time, known as the "bonkers hour" (or "bonkers hours" in some cases), is normally between midnight and 1am, though this varies between Stoke's towns.

The bonkers time itself often corresponds with the hours of prayer in each town, be it monastic or devilish. Burslem, traditionally a God loving town, has its bonkers hours from 11pm until midnight every night, whereas Norton, which has a large devil worshipping population, has Friday 3pm until Monday 9am as its time.

The extremely common Stoke phrase of "born in the bonkers hours", used to refer to someone who is a bit weird, odd, crazy or bent, comes from this myth.

Purple Ivy

Purple Ivy is a witch said to live on a council estate in Bentilee. Feared by locals, who aren't normally scared of anything, let alone a woman, she lives in her hut supposedly spending her days concocting wild potions and spells with which she can wreak havoc across the town.

"She must be 300 year old by now, and not a day younger," Mayor of Bentilee Ted Frazzle said. "Yup."

"She's lived in that same hut since Bentilee was but a madman's dream," Dividy Road warden Slim Ticks said. "Obviously, she's done it up to be more of a shack over the years so it looks the same as all the other houses on the estate now."

"I managed to look in through a window once," local pipsqueak Claude Duvalle said. "I swear she was skinning a live baby over a big cooking cauldron. Which she then pissed in."

But where does Purple Ivy come from?

"Witches aren't born, they're forged in the pits of hell," occult expert Nigel Trundles said. "Or maybe born to a witch or wizard. I dunno."

"I heard she was created from the dead souls of Stoke's forerunners," ancestry expert Bom Bungers said. "But I can't verify that with science. Right now."

Is Purple Ivy a threat?

"She lost her magic powers in a battle with a powerful warlock, that's what we heard," gossip-monger Kimmy Chuckles said. "As punishment for defeat, she was cursed to live in Bentilee for eternity. So, no."