Bigfoot Sighting Starts New Theories

A sighting of Stoke's very own Central Forest Park Bigfoot in Cannock Chase last week has sent experts literally wild with excitement.

Cod Fortune, a knob-tweaker from Stafford, reported seeing Bigfoot in the area on Saturday night, the second such sighting in the past seven years.

Danny Boner, professor of law at Staffordshire University and author of 'Bigfoot: The Wild Years', 'Bigfoot: My Part In His Downfall' and 'Contract Law For Business: The Definitive Guide', said that this is massive news in the Bigfoot world.

"This is literally a game changer," he said. "Why was he or she there? Was it a holiday? Visiting previously unknown (to us) relatives in the area? Was he or she just dicking about? The debates will be endless. Bring your own booze. And plenty of it."

Mewtwo Spotted In Fegg Hayes

Several reports have come in of (a) Mewtwo being spotted in northern Stoke.

"He mumbled something about getting revenge on humanity or something," Bev Biggs, one of the witnesses said. "Seemed a bit nuts to be honest."

"He was wandering around looking lost," Gary Gobbler added. "I could have taken it if I wanted to."

Man From The Past Misses Pulis

A mysterious man who travelled through time from the past to present day Stoke has said that his biggest regret is not waving goodbye to Tony Pulis when he left Stoke City.

Dave Monkey claims he is from January 2013, and that he transported to the present day via a time portal in Sneyd Green.

"If I'd known TP was going to leave Stoke I would have travelled back in time to when he first took charge so that I could enjoy him for longer," Monkey said.

"We were dubious at first, but he does know a lot about the time he comes from," scientist Larry Candles said. "He knows all the words to 'Call Me Maybe'."

Treasure Island

Treasure Island is the smallest island on Benny Island, on Lake Baps, the largest lake on Benny Island. It is so called because it contains absolutely no treasure, nor has any ever been found there, even though it used to house pirates who operated on the lake. The island does contain some of the world's oldest cave paintings, though these are considered worthless.