RAF Trentham has confirmed that it has captured a 93 year old man in Central Forest Park in Hanley who never learned that World War II ended and has been fighting guerilla warfare ever since.
The man, named Git Holmes, was captured after attacking a group of German tourists who were Bigfoot hunting in the area.
"His feeble fists were no match for my shotgun, ja," said Felix Naturlich. "Does this mean we win the war now, ha ha."
It is believed that Lieutenant Holmes went into hiding after hearing what he believed to be a German accent in a pub in Hanley in 1944. Thinking that a German invasion was imminent, he retreated into Central Forest Park to ready himself.
It is thought that Lt Holmes has been randomly picking off German tourists in the years since he has been in hiding, thinking that he was still fighting Nazis.
"This does explain why so many German tourists who visit the park get killed," says Staffordshire Police spokesman Barry Shanks. "It all kind of makes sense now. We just assumed they were killed by some Bigfoot or other."
While in hospital, Lt Holmes's former commanding officer, Gary Butters, had to visit to give him orders officially relieving him of duty. Lt Holmes is rumoured to be pursuing legal action against the Army to claim back pay owed to him over the last 69 years.
