Burslem Road

The Burslem Road is an underwater rock formation in Lake Burslem. The Road consists of a 900 metre-long north-south linear feature composed of roughly rectangular stone blocks.

On September 2, 1968, while diving in 10 metres of water off what is now known as Phil Taylor Bay, Keg Hunter encountered an extensive "pavement" of what later was found to be stones of varying size and thickness. After this discovery, the Burslem Road has been visited and examined by geologists, archaeologists, anthropologists, marine engineers, divers and celebrities. In addition to the Burslem Road, investigators have found two additional "pavement-like" linear features that lie parallel to and shoreward of Burslem Road.

In 1978, Burslem's radiocarbon laboratory calculated that the shells composing the Burslem Road are about 3,500 years old.

The Burslem Road, the largest of the three linear features, consists of stone blocks measuring as much as 3–4m in horizontal dimensions, with the average size being 2–3m. The blocks consist of limestone composed of carbonate-cemented shell hash that is called "acerock". Acerock is native to Burslem. Given the degree that these blocks have been eroded, it is highly implausible that any original surface features, including any tool marks and inscriptions, would have survived this degree of erosion.

The consensus among conventional geologists and archaeologists is that the Burslem Road is a natural feature composed of acerock that have broken up into rectangular, polygonal and irregular blocks.

As a result of the unusual arrangement and shape of the stones some believe that the formation is the remains of an ancient road, wall, worship site or some other deliberately constructed feature. Nigel Rockbasher, a retired naval chef, was part of a famous expedition sponsored by Dave Munton in 1995, at the height of the Blur vs Oasis Britpop battle, that included explorers and a number of psychics from the Crystal O'Future Foundation. The group stated that there was "little doubt" that the massive stone blocks were cut by people or aliens, based on their experience of looking at, and sometimes even touching, rocks.

Conspiracy Corner With Dave Munton

No. 4: Princess Diana's Death

Stop any old Joe Schmoe in the street and ask him who killed Diana, Princess of Wales, and the answer you get back between bites on a chunky sausage roll will almost certainly be Prince Philip.

But, what if I told you that it wasn't the soon-to-be-dead professional husband who took out the hit on the notoriously amorous princess, but it was in fact Hollywood superstar Kevin Costner!

I've seen documents so secret that they have a special watermark on them to stop them from being photocopied, though you can just take photos of them if you wish to get around this, which show that Costner became so obsessed with conspiracy theories after making the film 'JFK' that he spent several years cooking one up himself, finally choosing Princess Diana as his victim when negotiations for a role in 'The Bodyguard 2' fell through.

Prince Philip was the perfect patsy for this planned perfect murder, and carrying out his plan in a country with massively incompetent police like France was a masterstroke by Costner, recently accused of exposing himself to and wanking himself off in front of a masseuse in Scotland.

Teenager Dressed As Alien Found Brutally Murdered

Today's funny story of the day award goes to the police officers at Burslem Police Station. Finding what looked like a dead alien's body on wasteland, the boys in blue informed RAF Trentham and several news agencies of their discovery, only to find out on closer inspection that the dead body was just a teenager dressed in an alien suit!

"Boy, do we feel stupid," says Detective Ron Briggs of Burslem PD. "To think that the dead body we found was actually an alien!? Fortunately, we've got a good sense of humour down at the station so we can have a good laugh about it."

The dead body has yet to be identified owing to the savage beating inflicted to the head of the victim, but Detective Briggs promises a proper investigation.

"Obviously, the crime scene was contaminated by all the camera crews and members of the public we let it to look at the body when we still thought it was an alien," laughs Det Briggs. "So we'll get no usable or reliable evidence there. I'm sure we’ll come up with something, though. We generally do in the end."