Central Forest Park Bigfoot

The Bigfoot is a large, non-human primate that is distributed over the Stoke region to varying degrees of concentration, but reported mainly in Central Forest Park in Hanley.

The average height for the Bigfoot is about 8 foot tall. Babies shortly after birth are small (and ugly!) by human standards, but grow rapidly and evidently walk at an early age. Aside from infants being carried, small walking adult Bigfoot, 3-4 foot tall, have been seen. These are thought to be the Bigfoot equivalent of midgets or dwarves. The animals reach maturity at a height of 6-7 foot and the largest are thought to exceed 10 foot in height.

 

The average Bigfoot can be estimated to weigh 650 lbs (about the same weight as the boy band Bad Boys Inc), and the maximum probably to exceed 1,000 lbs (Blazin' Squad).

Famous Bigfoot picture

The head, though much bigger to that of man, is relatively small for an animal of that size, indicative of a rather small brain, probably similar to a gorilla or a human retard. Some people have even compared Bigfoot’s head-to-body ratio as being similar to the Goombas from the film Super Mario Bros. On the head itself, there is a conspicuous brow ridge with a receding forehead, giving the eyes a deep-set look. A look which many people would describe as "shifty".

The shoulders are proportionately wider than those of modern man, more similar to a fat woman from the 1980s with extra large shoulder pads in her dress. Large Bigfoot have been described as having four to five foot wide shoulders. They are also barrel-chested; the circumference would be about 65 inches for the average-sized animal and well above 75 inches for the largest individuals that have been seen. That’s about the same circumference as a side window on a 1976 Vauxhall Viva.

The Bigfoot is covered with hair, with the colour of the hair ranging from black or dark brown through various shades of reddish-brown (i.e. ginger). A few albino Bigfoot have been seen, whose hair was white and skin was pink. Hair has been variously described as clean and shiny, fluffy, dirty, matted and even sometimes looking like ginger dreadlocks. Hairstyles similar to the human "mullet" is common; very short hair on the face; long hair across the top of the shoulders (once described as "like a small hairy cape"); long hair on the forearms; and long hair on the calves (like bellbottom trousers).

The Bigfoot generally carries itself at a forward angle of about 15 degrees. This means that the species has not achieved a full upright stance like humans, although at times the animals do stand up straight. They are reported to walk in the style of a "badass pimp".

Bigfoot stories were commonplace for the indigenous people of Stoke. The legends existed before a name had even been given to the creature. Different parts of Stoke had their own Bigfoot myths and legends. Similar stories of Bigfoot are found in all parts of Britain, except Wales. Bigfoot expert Paul Brown, captain of the Paul Brown Bigfoot Council, argues that most cultures have human-like giants in their folk history: "We have this need for some larger-than-life creature. Most countries have a Bigfoot myth. The Welsh have a Mechagodzilla myth. But don’t ask me why."
 

The local legends were combined together by journalist Dave Crunk in a series of articles for The Daily Oatcake newspaper in the 1890s. Each Stoke town had its own stories and names for its local Bigfoot myth. Many of the names meant something along the lines of "wild man beast" or "hairy bastard". Crunk coined the term Bigfoot, and used it in his articles to describe a single type of creature reflected in these various stories. Crunk's articles popularised both the legend and its new name, making it well known in Stoke first, before it gained popularity in the rest of Britain. Over the years, there has been many more reports of Bigfoot.