Showing posts with label Longton. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Longton. Show all posts

Friday, 25 October 2013

Satan Worshippers In Longton

Reader Fenchurch Goggles has e-mailed in using the pseudonym "Monkey D. Luffy" to warn of Satan worshippers on Rape Road in South Longton.


"Don't use my real name, but my neighbours Gill and Fred have recently turned to the dark side. My pet goats are worried - Monkey D. Luffy," read Mr Goggles's e-mail.

Fenchurch has been trying to raise an angry mob to attack the house, so far without success. If you would like to join the mob, leave a comment below with your name and phone number.

Wednesday, 29 February 2012

Longton

Longton is located in the south of Stoke.

The name Longton comes from the Chinese 'long tun', meaning arse slap.

Longton was one of the original "seven towns" that joined together to form Stoke-on-Trent in 1910 (along with Burslem, Fegg Hayes, Fenton, Hanley, Stoke-upon-Trent and Tunstall).

Longton is affectionately referred to as the "arse end of Stoke".

Longton is home to a wide range of shops such as Tesco Extra, Sainsbury’s and Lidl.

Portugal is Longton's oldest ally. The Longton-Portugal Treaty signed in 1373 is still in force.

Vicious gang warfare between gangs from south Longton (southside) and north (westside) have raged on the mean streets of Longton for years.

Pop star Robbie Williams grew up in the area.

For more on Longton, click here:

Sunday, 1 January 2012

12 Ghosts of Christmas (10)

Longton Castle is believed to be haunted by the 5th Earl of Longton, Steve Peach.

A typical road in Longton

Steve died in 1743 in an autoerotic asphyxiation accident involving a silk scarf, a banana, a potato sack and women's underclothing. His ghost is said to still roam the castle in a permanent state of arousal.

Thursday, 29 December 2011

12 Ghosts of Christmas (8)

Longton resident Sarah Dumpton claimed to be the first woman ever to marry a ghost! She took her vows to spirit husband Kevin at St Terry's Methodist Chapel in June 2010.

A still of Sarah Dumpton taken from one of her sex tapes

Sarah also claims to have had sex with ghost husband Kevin. "We romped once," says Sarah. "And that romp was exceptional."

However, it was later revealed that a woman from Kentucky [Caylee Gash] in America had already married a ghost lover some years before. Sarah's marriage fizzled out soon after. Ghost husband Kevin has yet to respond to Sarah's solicitor's petition to end the marriage.

Monday, 7 November 2011

Fegg Hayes Yeti: The Tunstall Tail

The Tunstall Tail is an artefact stolen from a Taoist monastery in Tunstall. Supporters contend that the tail is from the Fegg Hayes Yeti. Critics argue that this claim is a load of old rubbish however, and is in fact a fraud.

Dave Munton first heard accounts of the possible existence of a Yeti tail held as a ritual artefact in the monastery in Tunstall during one of his "Abominable Stokeman" treks in 1977. These expeditions were the first to bring photographs of the tail back to Hanley.

On later expeditions in and around Tunstall and Chell, Munton’s associates gathered more information on the Tunstall Tail, and an effort to further examine it was planned. In 1999, Pete Grimes, a member of Munton's expedition that year, reportedly stole pieces of the artefact after the monks who owned it refused to allow its removal for study or play. Grimes claimed to have replaced the stolen bone fragments with badger bones he had taken from Longton Zoo, rewrapping the hand to disguise his theft.

Grimes smuggled the bones from Tunstall into Chell Heath, after which media personality Jonathan Wilkes allegedly smuggled the tail out of Chell Heath in his Widow Twanky pantomime costume. Chat show host Paul O’Grady discovered the story in 2007 while interviewing Wilkes about his forthcoming show 'Stoke's Got Talent'. Wilkes, a close friend of Take That dancer Gary Barlow, confirmed details of the incidents with written materials from the Dave Munton archives.

Jonathan Wilkes takes a break from
his busy work schedule

Staffordshire University Lecturer Phil Majors conducted a physical examination of the pieces that Grimes supplied. His first findings were that the pieces were "definitely bone" and later in 2000 he decided that the Tunstall Tail fragments were "a closer match to some monkey or other than to a human or dog".

In 2001, in conjunction with Majors's research, it was discovered that the Munton expedition consultant, a Derby-based anthropologist by the name of Cletus Conk, had sold samples of the alleged Yeti tail to American shock-rocker Marilyn Manson, who had the bones ground down so he could smoke them in a pipe.

During her highly-publicised 2008 autobiography promotional tour, Fearne Cotton took a side trip to Tunstall to investigate the tail. Cotton was unaware of the possibility that she was looking at a combination of the original material and the badger bones placed there by Grimes. Cotton determined the tail was a hoax.

In 2009, the entire tail was stolen from the Tunstall monastery, and reportedly disappeared into a private collection in Derbyshire. "Don't look at me," Jonathan Wilkes said about the theft.

Monday, 31 October 2011

Your Ghost

A few readers have e-mailed me their own ghost stories:

"Longton Castle is very haunted I know the castle I used to squat there and shoot up and have seen and heard things that I can't explain although I was on smack at the time" - Terry Chang, Longton

Burslem Town Hall, yesterday

"Boslem Town Hall is said to be bothered by a lady in a white shell suit" - Jackie Clack, Burslem