Hanley Cathedral To Merge With Apple?

Hanley Cathedral is in talks to merge with internet company Apple in a deal that could be worth over $600 billion.

An iPod

The American company, famed for its eye pads, is worth $600 billion in its own right, and the acquisition of Hanley Cathedral could increase its value by as much as $50,000, drawing it even further ahead of the value of local rivals Microsoft, which is currently worth a paltry $258 billion.

It is not known why Apple would want to buy the cathedral, currently being renovated to become a restaurant unit, but it is thought that it might want to use the stargate buried beneath it as part of its plans for world domination.