Wessex vs Wessex

The father of paranormal investigator Mick Wessex has criticised his son's tax dodging and revealed how his successful son has disowned him and never repaid the money he spent funding him before he was famous.

Retired daredevil Cob Wessex has also revealed that the hostility between the two of them runs so deep that he was even banned from seeing his son performing on stage in his work as a male stripper.


Cob Wessex

"Amid the piles of 'alternative interest' magazines on my desk at home I have a copy of a note that I wrote to my son, Big Mick, in 2002," says Mr Wessex Sr. "As my son's fame and wealth were on an upward curve, although his height was still on a level curve, I urged him to ensure he got tax advice that was as tight as a virgin's twat, rather than from one of his mates down the pub who says that they 'reckon' to know what the best course of action is. In particular, I warned him to stay away from sleazy advisers and their schemes."

Alas, it appears that Mick did not take his father's advice to heart. "This week, I have watched with great sadness as my much-loved seventh oldest son was forced to issue a humiliating public apology because of his dodgy tax dealings," added Cob.

"Mick cut me out of his life many years ago. It was sudden and brutal, like when you pull a fish out of water and smash its head against a statue of Princess Diana, who, in my opinion, is the legitimate Queen of England, even in death," sobbed Cob. "To this day, Mick still hasn't given me an explanation, though I suspect that his wife leaving him for me may have had something to do with it."